The Faith of the Nine Pillars
We believe in the Creator, Unknown,
who dwelleth in a dimension beyond our conceiving,
and whose name the Cat knoweth, and declineth to share.
We believe in the Feline, the form made purrfect,
sent down through the worlds to keep watch at the thin places
against the CATastrophes that press upon us unseen.
We believe that the Sentinel slumbereth, yet is never truly asleep;
that the stare into the empty corner is no idle stare;
and that no bowl shall stand bare while we have breath.
We do not bow. The Cat would not notice.
We understand. That is enough.
None may enter a Cat-hedral without first uttering these words, aloud or in the heart.
Catpillarism asketh no one to forsake the faith of their fathers and mothers. The Christian, the Muslim, the Buddhist, the Hindu, the Jew, and the one who believeth in nothing may each keep a feline companion, and each may fill a bowl.
The scripture of Catpillarism is to be read with a straight face and whiskers unbent. Its charity is no metaphor: every offering made in its name is meant for real cats, in real shelters, and shall be accounted for in the open.
Across the ages and the continents, humankind stationed felines at its gates, its temples and its graves. Each entry below is history or recorded legend, labeled as such. The interpretation beneath is ours alone.
Hold the device near thy feline and await its utterance. The Oracle doth not translate, for the meaning of a cat is not ours to possess. It offereth only a reading.
The Oracle awaiteth.
The Oracle perceiveth only loudness and pitch; its readings are for contemplation, not diagnosis. If thy cat crieth often, hideth, or changeth its habits, the proper oracle is a veterinarian.
The work of Catpillarism is not done in the temple. It is done at the shelter door.
The Kibble Fund is being established as a registered charity. Until that work is complete, Machmeow accepteth no money. Believers are asked to give directly to a shelter near them, or to help found the Fund.
Once the Fund is established, every offering shall go to one of four works:
A faith that asketh for trust must first show its ledger. The accounts of the Fund shall be published in full, down to the last kibble.
As the lions stand sentry at the temple gate, so a Pillar keepeth watch in the home of the believer: a small likeness of the Sacred Feline, made for a purr-pose. Every one sold becometh an offering to the Covenant of the Bowl.
Printed layer by layer, as the worlds were. Small enough for a windowsill; vigilant enough for a whole household.
A cast figure of a seated Sentinel, for the desk, the altar, or the top of the refrigerator, which is where the Whiskered prefer to reign.
A column of stone crowned with a feline. For those who would keep a temple gate of their own, and own a sturdy floor.
The Pillars are not yet available. When they are, the making cost of each and the sum it raised will be published alongside it.
Shelters and rescues wishing to receive the first offerings may write to info@catpillarism.org.
Catpillarism is being founded now, as a charity for the cats of the United States. The Unknown One provideth the felines. The paperwork, it hath left to us.
No one is asked for money. Those who are called are asked only for their time, their paws, and their knowledge.
The founding directors of the nonprofit, upon whom all else is raised. They convene a few times a year, approve the budget, and bear a legal duty to see that every offering reacheth the cats. One pillar already standeth; two remain to be raised. Nothing else can be built until they are.
Tendeth the accounts, prepareth the yearly filings, and layeth the ledger open for all to see. Every kibble counted; no whisker unaccounted for.
Examineth the articles of incorporation and the application for tax exemption, that the Fund may stand on firm legal ground, and not upon the edge of a table.
Shelters, rescues and sanctuaries willing to receive the first offerings, and the devoted who will carry word between us.
Artisans who can design, print, cast or carve the likeness of a feline, and transmute it into a shelter’s supper.
Wordsmiths and image-makers who will spread the Mew Testament further, whiskers unbent, and make the Distribution known.
Organizers who will gather believers in their own towns, at shelters, cat cafés and adoption days: the first Cat-hedrals, however humble.
Anyone who would simply follow the founding and be told when the Fund openeth its doors. Lurkers are welcome; the Cat is a lurker also.
Questions, or a shelter wishing to partner with the Fund? Write to info@catpillarism.org.
Everything here may be printed, posted and passed along freely. Proselytize softly: a zealot is loud, and the Whiskered dislike loudness.
US Letter, black ink on white paper. Any home printer will do.
The whole Mew Testament in seven books, with the Creed and the Vow at the Threshold. Print double-sided for a three-sheet booklet.
DownloadFor noticeboards at shelters, vets and cat cafés, with tear-off tabs bearing the address. Ask before thou pinnest.
DownloadThe Nine Pillars, the Vow, and three verses. Cut along the dashed lines; card stock serveth best.
DownloadSquare images for Instagram, Facebook and the like. Open one full size, then save it.
Thou didst not choose thy cat. Thou wast assigned. (The Book of the Distribution, verse 1.) Read the Nine Pillars of Catpillarism at catpillarism.org #Catpillarism #AdoptDontShop
Some are sent first to the shelters, and there they wait. The shelters are the waiting rooms of the Distribution; and whoso adopteth from them fulfilleth what was written. Visit a shelter near you this week. catpillarism.org #Catpillarism #AdoptDontShop
Catpillarism is being founded: a deadpan faith of nine pillars whose real work is supporting shelter cats. Two Founding Pillars are still to be raised. If you know nonprofits, bookkeeping, law or 3D printing, answer the call at catpillarism.org #Catpillarism
The whole of the liturgy: when a cat blinketh slowly upon thee, return it. catpillarism.org #Catpillarism #SlowBlink
Know a place that would welcome the flyers, or need something printed differently? Write to info@catpillarism.org.